So, I just keep trying to keep positive about all the crap I've had to deal with since getting sick. All the "two steps forward, ten steps back" shit is really getting old though. But, in getting setback my doctors can better help me move forward eventually. I just have to keep optimistic about all this.
It's not easy to be my old optimistic self lately though. Through the constant vomiting, and then the vomiting blood; the chronic aches and pains; and especially the fatigue that is far worse than it ever was before.
I've been pushing myself harder and harder to accomplish things throughout my day, instead of staying in bed like my body wants me to. I may end up paying for it in the end, but at least I have something to show for it!!
So, I bathe even when I really don't have the energy for it; I do laundry once a week; I attempt to make the bed every day; I stay on the couch instead of in bed most days; and I'm crocheting a new blanket for the bed. All this plus spending time with an energetic nine year old!! I'm trying to do all I can, and although it's killing me; its also very worthwhile in the end. It helps boost my self esteem back up almost to where it was before. I don't feel like such a worthless schlub every day.
Ahhh, life with Chronic Illness & Pain... I thank God every day for the great network of family and friends who support me through this. Lupus may try to bend me; but it will never break me! Fighting my way through AutoImmune hell w/ MCTD, Psoriatic Arthritis, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue, Anxiety, Depression, and that rapidly evolving 'Lupus-like' Bully that is trying to ruin my life. Follow me if you dare down the weird and twisted journey of living with chronic pain...
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