Well, the winters in Maryland are not nice. It's snowing and it's so painful to live through. The aches get worse, the fatigue is horrendous, and I just want to get better. A lot of people love the snow...I used to be one of them. It is very pretty, but the changes in temperature and air pressure are too much for my poor little body to deal with.
I don't have medical coverage, so I'm living with Lupus, Fibromyalgia and a handful of other problems because of my auto-immune problems. There are so many medications that I should be taking, but I can't afford them. I have been unemployed since June 8, 2010, and I am waiting on a determination for Disability. I started getting sick in December 2009 and it's been a downhill battle since then. Everything has gotten more painful, more tiring and easy tasks are frustratingly hard to do most days.
I have to use cups with lids because I never know if I'll be able to hold onto my cup. I spend my days cooped up in the house in my warm pajamas. On the days that I go out to see people, I'm miserable and try not to show it. I love getting out of the house, but I know that I will inevitably spend the next few days in bed because of it.
Thank God I have a loving, understanding and supportive boyfriend. The littlest things mean so much to me. I've learned to cherish simple things so much more since I've gotten sick. My boyfriend has shown me that there are caring people out there in this crazy "me driven" world.
It's 5:30 in the morning and I really should be sleeping. But, my sleep schedule isn't always a set one. There are times where I am up for three days, deliriously tired and cannot sleep. Other times I can sleep for two days straight and still be tired. Either way, I'm tired all the time and I don't think I'll ever get used to that.
Here's hoping that I can get some rest this week. I honestly thought I'd be able to sleep a lot more than I have since I used more than my alloted "spoons" on Monday to get a ton of errands done, and to go out for a friend's birthday celebration. Monday started at 8:00am for me and didn't end until 2:00am on Tuesday. It was a horribly excruciating day.
1:52pm addition
I slept almost all day yesterday, and thought I'd be in bed til tomorrow sometime, but here I am still awake and aching horribly with a pounding headache and major chest pains. I can't tell how much of this is/could be from the possible sinus cold I have right now. I just know that nothing is working, and that if I sneeze or cough one more time my chest and face will explode. Owwww.
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