Wishing a very happy 35th birthday to my prince sonnyshine skipper!!
After a very long night of not being able to sleep (on the 4th-5th) I finally got a 3 hour nap and tried my hardest to put on a brave face to go out to celebrate his birthday with some of his friends and old co-workers...one of which has the same birthday. I am currently running on negative spoons, so this was such a feat for me to overcome and brave the day. I showered bc it took less time, but it uses more spoons than taking a bath; so I had to skip shaving my legs and spending much time getting ready. I didn't really have the energy to do my hair, so I rocked the curls tonight.
I really overdid it though. We went to Buffalo Wild Wings, and were only there for 2 hours. But, to my body it felt like two eternities. My pain level tripled and my negative quantity of spoons quadrupled. I hate having to force a smile and act like I'm fine. Especially when I'm dying inside. But, after being so down and out for my own birthday last month...there was no way I was going to let Lupus deprive Sonny of a good 35th birthday.
But the night is winding down. I'm surfing facebook and playing those dang addictive games while he's playing on his xbox. Soon it will be snuggle time on the couch with my boyfriend and the heating pad to search for something on tv to help us finish unwinding and then we'll get some sleep. We're supposed to take Clay to the movies tomorrow/today to see Gnomeo and Juliet. I'm hoping I can find enough strength to do that. I miss out on so much because I'm sick. I'm tired of missing out on MY life. This just effing blows.
So, here's wishing that Lupus will take a long walk off a short pier and leave me the hell alone for a little while. I can't stand feeling this helpless and exhausted (not to mention the non-stop excruciating pain) any more. I just can't keep going like this. I need insurance so that I can get my health under control.
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