Oh you know that feeling; the one when you've been isolated for way too long, it's long past cabin fever and has turned into something wicked and eerie? AND you're past the point of getting on your own nerves? AND you're having conversations with your furbabies, and finding out that they have very awesome 'secondary' personalities - which you have given them because YOU ARE TALKING FOR THE FURBABY! Now to most people, this is a wake up call, or at least it was an eye opener for me. I hadn't realized how narrow my view of the world had become while I have spent over five years stuck either in bed or on the couch, and rarely leaving the house unless it was for one of many, many doctor appointments with all of my 'ologists.'
So I said to myself, 'It's time to get back to having a purpose and fighting my way back to getting my life together, no matter what the pain levels are, no matter how little sleep I've gotten. Because I was at that tipping point where it could've gone the way of the eye opening I had, or I could've seriously used an extended stay at a loonie bin for real. I'm glad that my faith in God, my AMAZING husband, my awesome support network of family & friends, and my inner strength have never abandoned me.
I AM A MUTHAFUCKIN WARRIOR!
My body has been through all of Dante's levels of hell in my short 35 years, and not once have I asked God why. Because this is the journey God carved out for me. My formative years matured me quickly, prepared me for many challenges in the real world, and gave me an inner warrior that was hard to contain in my 98lb body. But I did it. And I excelled at life. I tried different jobs, I fell in love, I fell in lust, I had fun, I traveled some, I made many, many great memories with some pretty amazing people, I worked my ass off & was always on the go! I WAS A FORCE OF NATURE, to put it mildly...
Then Autumn of 2009, my body started taking me hostage. AutoImmune Ninjas crept in from God only knows where, and unleashed a torrent of wild, varying, intense, extreme, debilitating symptoms by way of quite a few AutoImmune diseases.
First we found Fibromyalgia hanging out literally e.v.e.r.y.w.h.e.r.e.
Then we began seeing a connective tissue disease progress & transform so quickly, that even after six years, it's looking like Lupus may have been the leader of the AutoImmune Ninjas that crept in. He brought his buddies along to screw up my life and teach my body to attack itself & its healthy cells, and to see the intruders as 'friendlies.'
to be continued. most of my blog posts may come in pieces on occasion since I can't seem to focus on any one thing solely, for more than a short window of time. lovely symptom, yes?
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