My life in it's entirety so far, has been lackluster in luck. I have an unlimited supply of bad luck on my side. My mom always told me that if it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all. I'm a klutz, and a walking accident waiting to happen. I have a long repertoire of odd & unintentional self injuries that seemed impossible.
How does that help me? It doesn't really...but it helps me stay grounded, and sometimes it helps me stay realistic. It is so hard to think that there are people out there worse off than I am. It hurts my soul to know that no matter how much pain I'm in, someone out there is hurting even worse than I am.
Chronic illnesses & Chronic pain rule my life, and have ruled my life for six years now. 6 years of daily pain, too many symptoms to list, and a bunch of medical oddities along the way as well. But not knowing what the future holds keeps me on edge....ALL the time. I never know when something weird will pop up out of the blue (like it did last month), or how many ways my body could truly betray me when I was seriously starting to think it was beginning to play nice.
Being a chronically ill mid-30's woman, I hate that my life changed for the worse 6 years ago...But God will never give me more than I can handle...although I do think He seriously does overestimate my patience, will power and strength.
I want to know what the future holds for me. I want to know that all these meds and treatment plans are working. But as of yet, I've been in one giant flare-up for 6 years - and it just keeps getting worse. I want to see progress, feel progress within this broken body of mine. So I just bide my time until my body decides to cooperate with me...no matter how long that takes!!
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