Woke up at 8:00am with no spoons..par for the course on a Monday. What's the cure for this?? As always, I push myself far past my limit because that's my m.o. But it was a beautiful and sunny Monday!! A light breeze with a high of 63 degrees expected. I wanted to have a good day!! It's long overdue!
**I'm leaving out a lot of grumpy, snide remarks that I made throughout the day...
I have promised myself a haircut since October, and I was bound and determined to see it through. Hey, I'm on Percocet, so I must be invincible...right!? Wrong!!
How my bad day turned good:
Called the salon and scheduled an appointment with my stylist Patty (who is also a very close family friend). I hadn't seen her in over a year and a half. She lost her husband last month to cancer, and I couldn't make it to the funeral because of the weather and my heightened pain.
Dragged my tired and sore self up the stairs to the bathroom so I could shower and get dressed. I skipped doing my hair and make-up because I knew I was in for a very grueling day; and I'd be exhausted enough without doing these things.
Went to lunch at Lintini's with Sonny before my hair appointment. It was a nice quiet lunch. Lunch completely screwed up my stomach since I was still nauseated (as per the usual).
Got to the salon and surprised Patty. She knows me as "Bear" (my nickname), so seeing Amanda on her schedule wasn't any indicator for her lol. She waxed my brows and trimmed away all the dead ends from my mop of hair; and evened it all up since I had attempted a slight trim by myself a few months back. We chatted and got caught up on the family "goings-on". It was so wonderful to see her again. I felt emotionally better after going to the salon. I felt prettier than I have for quite some time. It was a wonderful feeling.
We stopped by Dunkin Donuts for my daily cup of joe. The Dunkin Donuts in Frederick (both of them) seem to have better tasting coffee than the one in Westminster does. So, it's always an extra special treat to get a cup in Frederick.
After we got home and since it was such a beautiful day outside, Sonny wanted to clean out the inside of his truck. I wanted so desperately to be able to help him. Despite the pain and exhaustion, I decided that simply sitting in the truck talking to him would be help enough. Then we drove to the car wash place to utilize the industrial vacuum to get all the crud off the floors and seats. I sat idly watching him work. It actually made me more tired just watching him.
Then he wanted to armor-all the interior, so I just sat in a chair (in the shade of course) and watched him.The birds were singing, clouds were floating by... It was so perfect outside. And after Sonny was done with the truck, I made sure I pointed out how perfect the day seemed to be. His response melted my heart, "Every day with you is a perfect day." I love that man so much.
Up to the bus stop to get Clay off the bus after school. It was a rough walk for me, but I wasn't going to let anything get in my way today no matter how bad it hurt. It didn't matter that it was only 3:20pm and my whole body was screaming, "UNCLE". I had to do this.
As promised - after homework, the three of us drove up to the basketball court for the guys to shoot some hoops. I sat on the sideline shouting encouragement as my guys laughed and played "Around the World." I took some pics of them while they were playing. This wasn't the first time that I was literally AND figuratively watching my life from the sideline. At least this time my "sideline" was in the sunshine!
Then Sonny wanted to take his first Harley ride of the year, and I desperately wanted to go. I had just gotten my new helmet in the mail the other week, and wanted to feel the breeze on my face. So, I sucked in the pain and trudged forward. It was a nice ride despite all the pain that ensued. I really am anxious for the sissy bar to be done so I don't have to rely on my legs and arms to keep me on that big beast of a machine. We only went about 6 miles, but it was so relaxing in so many ways. I could barely walk when we returned home, but it was worth it. I can't wait to feel better so that I can enjoy these rides more. I miss out on so much because I'm sick.
Then back home for my guys to play some video games and for me to try to relax a little bit. Got changed and put on my make-up since I was losing that "pretty" feeling. Living with dark marks on your cheeks and jawline isn't exactly the sexiest thing in the world (plus the dark circles and bags under my eyes from being sick).
Left the house at 6:30pm to head to bowling league (Sonny's on a league every Monday). I was in a world of hurt, but blazed a trail through the pain to accomplish my "Forced Good Day." Sonny had a 609 set for the night. Mondays at bowling are usually my only "probable guarantee" on getting out of the house once per week. (Up until last week, I had gone every Monday night for a few months despite the pain - just to get out of the house). I always enjoy the company of his bowling team. They are so nice and easy to talk to.
Back home by 9:30pm to start winding down for the night. Clay played some video games until it was bedtime. I settled in here at the desk to try and collect my thoughts for this blog. Also, I wanted to catch up on facebook statuses since I haven't been as good lately about reading the goings-on of my friends.
I put away two week's worth of clothes that had to be hung up in my closet...wincing in pain the whole time.
Organized the clutter a little bit, and tried to get the soda cans under control once again. *Soda cans are my arch-enemy...especially when they sit around half full and multiply as the days pass by while I watch them.
I managed to strip the bed linens and get them into the washing machine. Then, into the dryer. Sonny helped me make the bed (which is the first time in my life I've actually asked someone to help me make my bed). Yes, I'm in a hellish torturous pain at this point. I'm wishing it were time to take another Percocet. I know I've pushed myself into another "Uber flare-up", but I don't care.
So, it's a little past midnight right now. I have survived my "Good Day"; just barely.
Although today wasn't perfect, it still kinda was. I mean, I realize how brave I really am. I realize how strong I really am. Making it through a self-inflicted day of hell gives me hope for life with lupus. I truly do believe that things will be easier once I'm fully diagnosed and on treatments from the doctors.
Spring time: The part of the year where my pain is supposed to decrease (yet has greatly increased). Spring time: a fresh beginning full of hope (and oh how I need this fresh beginning). Spring time: a bird singing praise for a beautiful day (and that's why I'm here trying to encourage myself through simple daily activities).
I wish all of my fellow "Spoonies" a Spring time for a lifetime. Wish you pain-free days, hope for a fresh start, and encouragement to "make" a good tomorrow.
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