Making my lists...checking them twice

Well after waiting so long for insurance, it has arrived...along with renewed anxiety over doctor appointments and diagnoses.
My Lupus was merely a pseudo-diagnosis because my Rheumatologist refused to do all the diagnostic blood work properly. She confirmed that I do indeed have an auto-immune disease that seemed to be well on the path of becoming SLE. the other doctor I saw in Pennsylvania said that based on my labs and symptoms, it was definitely SLE, and maybe some other things as well. After so many other problems already uncovered, how much else could there be?
Chronic fatigue - check
Fibromyalgia - check
Auto-immune disease - check
Epstein Barr - check
Systemic Candida - check
Vitamin deficiencies -check
Anemia -check
Depression -check
Anxiety disorder - check

So, since I'll be seeing a new primary care physician, I've been working hard making lists of health problems, symptoms, medications I should still be on (but haven't been due to lack of insurance), etc... I find myself going over these lists time and time again trying to remember what else I really need to add. I remembered that I should make a list of all my surgeries and procedures so that my new dr knows what organs I'm missing, what past procedures have revealed. So now I'm looking at yet another list, because I should give my new dr a list of all the specialists I've seen, and let him know the ones I'll need to see again; such as my gastroenterologist. My GI dr is amazing. I hope he accepts my new insurance as well. I can't imagine finding a whole new team of professionals for my health care. But, I will do what's necessary in order to make progress with my health problems.

My anxiety over doctor appointments is unreal. I hate the feeling of not knowing what's going to happen, or how many vials of blood the doctor will make me give up for lab work each visit. I hate the look I get each time my weight drops and my doctor lectures me on gaining weight back. I know that my old doctor did those things because she genuinely cared about my health. I wonder if my new doctor will just think I'm anorexic or bulimic or something.

Well, it's time for me to get back to my lists. And it's time for me to rally some motivation to get some real food into my stomach. After sleeping most of the day, I've worked up one helluva appetite...and the pretzels just aren't cutting it! They do however help when I'm as nauseated as I always am.

I will be back eventually with more random ramblings about things that are traveling through my mind at the speed of sound.

Hugs and spoons to all of you!